I hated rehab. That might not be the company line, but it’s the truth: I hated rehab. Every second of every minute of every hour. There wasn’t a moment there that I didn’t wish I was anywhere else: anywhere besides that drug treatment center, mired in that interminable grind. Yup, I hated rehab…and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it for all the tea in China.
The truth is that addiction recovery has to be a difficult experience, because you can only ever beat addiction with hard work. Drug treatment that isn’t unpleasant, quite frankly, just isn’t working; it isn’t helping you dig down into the guts of your disease, and confront whatever it is that made you start using in the first place. Addiction treatment is hard because it has to be. That’s it; that’s all that matters. I hated rehab. And drug recovery saved my life. You tell me what could ever be more important.
Stop the madness. If you need alcohol treatment(and you know you do) then stop fuckin’ around and do what you’ve got to do. I did and I’m way better off than I would be if I didn’t man up and I kept doing what I was doing. I’m not going to regale you with the terrible details of my drunken stupor days, but I can definitely say that it was a bad time for me and my family. I always knew that there was definitely a problem with my drinking but I was never ready to fully admit that I needed help. That was before my wife gave me the ultimate ultimatum. She basically told me that it was her or the booze. That’s when I called the alcohol treatment center.
When I got to alcohol treatment I admit that I was a bit skeptical about it being effective but I stuck with it because I knew that it was important for me to complete the program. I didn’t want to let my wife and kids down, but I really wasn’t sure it work. When I think about my time in alcohol treatment I always thank God that I perservered and made it through. Now that I’ve been sober for three years I guess my wife was right after all. Wow, I better make sure I never tell her that.
Drug rehabilitation ain’t the easiest thing to go through. Anybody who’s experienced drug rehab can attest to the fact that it’s quite the bitch to endure. Some people would say that it’s all about how bad your drug problem was that determines how difficult your stay at a drug treatment center will be. I disagree. It is truly my belief that if you were ever addicted to drugs at all you will definitely find drug rehabilitation a difficult cross to bare.
My experience with drug rehabilitation was quite a hard one. It wasn’t just the part about changing my life and the way I lived it. There was a lot more to my anguish than that. The hardest part of drug treatment was realizing how much I’d screwed up and having to admit that I screwed up at every turn. Rehab was hard but it was an eye opening experience. It taught me the importance of coming to grips with my mistakes and being able to fix them and move on. Once things got under way I didn’t mind rehab as much as I thought I would. I really got used to learning how to better myself no matter how painful it was. I guess I always knew it would be hard but it may have been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
I remember when I first tried it. I waited until nobody was home and I turned on the computer as quietly as possible. When the computer booted up I got a rush thinking about what was seconds away from happening. It was all so naughty and exciting at the same time. When I went to the website I felt like a forty-niner who had just struck gold. Tits and ass everywhere you looked and as far as the eye could see. It was great!
It wasn’t until looking up porn on the internet became a necessity that it started getting weird. It did take me a long while to get to that point because, let’s face it, it is porn. But once it gets to the point of compulsion and not just for the physical gratification it’s pretty easy to realize that something is wrong. I know it sounds strange to say, but I was addicted to porn. I eventually got to the point where it was literally like clockwork. Late at night or whenever no one was around I’d slip into the back room with the old lap top and go online. I’d sit there for hours and just stare at the screen wondering why I couldn’t turn away. It was scary.
Since those days I’ve gotten help from people who really know what I’m going through. Pure porn addiction help from real porn addiction recovery specialists. Getting help was the best thing I’ve ever done and it helped my life get back to normal.
